The Actual Reason You Were Ghosted

Hey there, I’m Praise Sunday, the person behind the words you read here at Teki360. Today, I want to chat about something that might have puzzled you in the dating world – being ghosted.

You know, that odd and often upsetting moment when someone you thought you were connecting with just… disappears. No texts, no calls, nothing. Just like a ghost.

Well, I’ve been in that shoes before and literally everyone in the dating world has one time come across a similar situation like this.

But have you ever wondered why people do this? The reason? and If it were possible to avoid a conversation fizzling into the possibility of this happening?

This is what I’ll talk about in this article.

Why does ghosting happen?

First off, it’s important to remember that ghosting says more about the ghoster than the ghostee.

In many cases, the person who ghosts might be avoiding confrontation. It’s not easy to tell someone you’re not interested or that you don’t want to continue the relationship.

For some, ghosting feels like the easier way out. No drama, no having to explain themselves, just silence.

But here’s a personal take. I remember a time when I ghosted someone. It wasn’t something I’m proud of, but at that moment, it felt like the only option. I was overwhelmed with work, juggling personal issues, and just couldn’t handle another thing on my plate.

So, I chose silence. Might sound unfair, but we’ve all had that situation.

We. Can’t. Deny. It.

Ghosting often happens when people are dealing with their own issues and aren’t ready or able to communicate them.

Another reason for ghosting could be the fear of hurting someone’s feelings. It sounds ironic, right?

You don’t want to hurt someone by telling them you’re not interested, so you end up hurting them by disappearing. It’s a vicious cycle.

Also, let’s not ignore the role of digital communication in all this.

In the age of online dating and instant messaging, it’s become easier to ghost. When you’re not facing someone in person, it’s simpler to avoid the hard conversations.

A screen doesn’t show the immediate emotional impact of your actions, making it a less intimidating space to back out from.

In some cases, ghosting happens because of a lack of maturity or emotional intelligence.

It takes courage and honesty to communicate openly, and not everyone has reached that point in their personal growth.

How to be always ghosted

Now, let’s turn the tables and talk about a slightly unusual topic: “How to Be Always Ghosted.”

You might be thinking, “Why on earth would anyone want to know that?”

Well, it’s not about wanting to be ghosted, but rather understanding the behaviors that often lead to it.

By knowing what might trigger ghosting, we can avoid these pitfalls in our own dating lives.

1. Overwhelming Your Match

It’s natural to feel excited when you connect with someone new. But, there’s a fine line between showing interest and overwhelming your match.

Let’s say you meet someone and immediately start flooding their inbox. Morning texts, updates throughout the day, late-night chats – it’s non-stop.

While your intentions are good, it can be too much for the other person. It’s like when a song you like is played over and over again; eventually, you’ll want to hear something else.

Balance is key.

Share your enthusiasm, but also give them space to breathe and respond. It’s not just about the quantity of messages, but the quality of the connection you’re building.

2. Ignoring Boundaries

One of the quickest ways to push someone away is by not respecting their boundaries.

When you’re getting to know someone, it’s crucial to listen and respect their limits.

Say, for instance, they mention they’re not comfortable discussing past relationships or personal challenges early on.

If you keep prodding them on these topics, it’s related to walking into someone’s house and opening doors they’ve closed for privacy. It’s intrusive and shows a lack of respect for their personal space.

Also, pay attention to non-verbal cues.

If they’re slow to respond to certain topics, it might be a sign to steer the conversation elsewhere.

3. Avoiding Real Conversations

Sticking to superficial topics in your conversations can be a major roadblock to forming a meaningful connection.

Small talk about the weather or what you had for lunch is fine to start, but if you never progress beyond that, it might signal to the other person that you’re not looking for something deep.

Real connections are forged through shared stories, emotions, and experiences.

4. Not Showing Genuine Interest

When you’re always talking about yourself without showing genuine interest in the other person, it can be off-putting.

Imagine going to a dinner where you only get to watch others eat while you’re not offered anything – it feels uninviting and one-sided, right?

The same principle applies in dating.

If you’re constantly steering the conversation back to yourself without asking about their day, their interests, or how they feel, it sends a message that you’re not truly interested in them as a person.

True connection is built on mutual interest and shared conversations.

Ask them about their hobbies, their dreams, and listen actively. It’s like playing catch – you throw the ball, but you also have to be ready to catch it when it comes back to you

5. Being Negative

Consistently focusing on the negatives in your conversations can quickly lead to your match feeling overwhelmed.

Imagine every time you speak, the topics are about what’s going wrong in your life, the issues in the world, or criticism of everything around you.

Of course, it’s important to be real about life’s challenges, but it’s equally important to balance this with positive or neutral topics.

Think of it like a meal; if every dish is too spicy, you’ll yearn for something to balance the flavors.

Similarly, in conversations, if there’s a constant stream of negativity, it can become too much to handle, making your match feel like they need a break

Being Ghosted is Inevitable but can be controlled

Let’s face it, being ghosted is something many of us will face, or have already faced, in the world of modern dating. It’s almost like a rite of passage.

But, while it may seem inevitable, there are ways we can lessen the chances of it happening.

First, let’s understand one thing: not everyone we meet is going to be a perfect match, and that’s okay.

Just like in a game of cards, not every hand you’re dealt is a winner.

The key is to know when to hold on and when to fold. In dating, this means recognizing when a connection just isn’t there and moving on gracefully.

Being open and honest is crucial.

If you feel like the conversation isn’t flowing or you’re just not clicking, it’s better to communicate this politely and directly.

Understanding and respecting each other’s pace in the relationship also helps.

Everyone has their own speed at which they’re comfortable moving forward.

Pushing someone too hard or moving too fast can scare them off. It’s related to trying to run before you can walk.

Take it easy, get to know each other, and let things develop naturally.

Another thing to consider is your choice of platform.

Different dating apps and sites have different vibes and intentions. It’s important to choose one that aligns with what you’re looking for.

If you’re after a serious relationship, a platform known for quick hookups might not be the best place for you.

Lastly, remember it’s not always about you.

People ghost for all sorts of reasons that have nothing to do with the person they’re ghosting.

They might be dealing with personal issues, or they simply don’t know how to express that they’re not interested.

So, while we can’t completely eliminate the risk of being ghosted, we can take steps to reduce it.

Be honest, communicate openly and properly, respect each other’s pace, choose the right platform, and remember not to take ghosting too personally.